>>208095296
OH N-

>>208095296
anyone who says its not is a pretentious faggot

more like Silly Rose Derp lmao

>>208095296
This is hilarious kek

>>208095296
So, is he, like, a vampire with fangs who drinks blood or is he just, you know, some zombie with a Rasputin cock who fucks bitches or whatever ?

how do I make a woman make this face and no KILLING IS NOT AN OPTION

>>208095321
Ending music and Depp's smirk was kino.

>>208095296
it was a good death, you really wanted to see this motherfucker eat shit

>AHHHHH I’M GOING INSANE AND THE ONLY CURE IS COCK!
Do women really?

>>208095379
way to miss the point of the movie and misunderstand women in general

>>208095296
Everyone was laughing in the theater

>>208095379
The cervix penetration was that good.

>>208095379
YO QUIERO SEEEEXOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAA

>>208095388
They never consummated their marriage I think it’s the subtext or whatever you call it

>>208095379
KEKAROOOOOOO!!!!!

>>208095339
He is undead, like all classic vampires. Here this woman holds him so he doesn't run away from the light.

>>208095445
LMAO!!!

orlok sucked peoples chest for blood instead of neck in this flick
is this cannon?

>>208095296
The beginning arc absolutely was, but it lost steam especially towards the end with the exception of the necrophilia scene.

>>208095296
As a comedy yeah.

>>208095480
no

>>208095485
The original Dracula is just as fucked up. The old movies were also 9/10 up to the middle and then a bit worse.

>>208095443
So he's a zombie who fucks bitches. Got it, thanks

>>208095445
>you could never satisfy me the way a corpse can
Why are women so gross. This is all Eve's fault

When he killed the two daughters was seriously one of the most ice cold things seen in a kino lately

>>208095670
I was laughing

>>208095296
Redpill me on Count Orlok.

Orlok sounds kinda Eastern European, like Hungarian or even Slavic. I know vampires are big part of Eastern Euro medieval lore.

>>208095822
He was Romanian. He even dressed like historical Vlad.

>>208095822
Eastern Europe had a lot of orthodox Jews back then, majority of vampire stories from that region are unironically about Jews. Look up blood libel in England.

why was Dracula a cossack? Romania has never be controlled by Russia.

>>208095932
That was the style in that part of Europe at that time. Big mustaches, shaved sides of head.

DIE YOU ACCURSED MISBIRTH OF HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!! *bonk*

>>208095321
I genuinely liked it, but I don't know if I'd rank it above Herzog. Haven't seen the original.

>>208095445
This scene was hilarious
>monster cums too hard and dies to the sun
>chick dies too
>suddenly Dafoe appears with a bunch of flowers
>puts them on top of them for some reason
Also the movie was average at best, honestly overhyped

>>208095296
The only reason why Nosferatu 2024 isn't the worst Nosferatu is because Nosferatu in Venecia exist

>>208096128
you are incapable of listing any actual non-meme reasons as to why the 2024 version is bad

Can someone explain the movie to an -actual- retard (me)?
Is nosferatu a thing that happens frequently? How did the book now how to kill it?
It is inherently self destructing?
Is it really 'voluntary' if the monster says he'll kill everyone if you don't do it?
What's his endgame other than dying I guess?
What's wrong with w*men?
I was half drunk while watching it and didn't really get it, the constant hollering by the main girl also distracted me

>>208095744
based defoe, i would have preferred a movie with just him and ineson doing occult shit over watching lily rose depp make weird faces with her crazy ass hairline

>>208095379
Women really do.

>>208095296
This movie made no sense without Christianity and that ruined the ending

>>208096150
It's not that Nosferatu 2024 is bad. In fact I think it was pretty good. It's just that 1922 and 1979 are superior

>>208096175
Next time drink less while watching a movie. Vampires are just people who sold their soul to the devil, so they could be immortal but devil make them like zombie because he is a dick. They can't enter your house or make some demon deals with you if you wan't let them, so they try to trick you.

>>208096305
kek

>>208096037
Kek

If this movie's director had been some no name instead of Eggers, people would be comparing it to The Room.

>Lily Rose Depp plays a special whore, and the darkness of her being a disgusting slut attracted Dracula

It's like a shittier version of the witch

>>208096406
So just like other movies about Nosferatu or Dracula.

>>208096106
Her turning Orlok's head to distract him from the rising son was ripped from Midnight Mass

>>208096271
I'm not that anon, but; Its boring to sit all the way during a movie
So I just do that, it makes it watchable
Am I supposed to focus and be sober during a full movie?
Do people never get snacks even during it?
Seems weird

>>208095485
The necrophilia was the only thing in the movie completely uncalled for. Why couldn't Eggers simply let that character die with dignity? He is by far the most wronged person in the whole film and gets unimaginable torment heaped upon him.

>>208096435
There has been no other movie that linked being a slut to the darkness of Dracula

>>208096203
Reddit also hate this movie kek

>>208095677
Wow so edgy! I want to be you retard anon!kmkr

Honestly we should started the EGGED meme because you guys are absolute plebeian

>>208095379
This. It was fucking silly. stupid Nepo baby bitch RUINED it with every
>GYUUUHHHHHHH IM LE ACTING AUGGHHHGHGGHHGHGGHHH IM HAVING A HORNY SEIZURE GYUUUUHHHHHHHHH
Scene

>>208096474
Bram Strokers Dracula was pretty horny.

>>208096467
He was a retard "trust-the-science!" faggot and deserved a worse death

>>208096479
The entire theater was laughing.

>>208096500
is that guy serious? did he not see lucy?

>>208096459
I said drink less not nothing at all, so you could remember what you was watching at least.

>>208096443
Wow, looking forward to Nosferatu's Son (2028)

>>208096037
lmao

>>208095296
Can’t wait for the bloopers

>>208096500
it was also actually good, unlike this shit

>>208095296
Why is this movie specifically getting incels mad because of the sexual undertones when vampire stories have always had sexual undertones?

>>208096523
Half drunk is like nothing though, Otherwise people WILL get bored and antsy to leave. I usually leave to get more snacks if I'm sober and no phone.

>>208096548
Nobody is mad, the movie is just extremely funny unintentionally.

>>208096570
stunted autist

>>208096570
Exactly this. Everything about this movie is a big joke.

>>208095887
>actually showed us a POV of Nosferatu's cum face
BRAVO NOLAN

>>208096552
Try lsd next time.

>>208096501
how would you feel if you were saddled with looking after your friend's histrionic batshit wife for like 3 months while she frequently has fucking fits in your home while your wife and two young children live and have to constantly pay for her doctor visits and treatments only then for your wife and children to die horrible deaths and then be told fucking pixies did it?

>>208096633
Wtf no thanks. I can tell you are either a Millenial or like GenX. My gen doesnt fuck around with harder stuff like that
Do you tho, I'll stick to beer

>>208096658
I would fuck her back to sanity and feel pretty good. Joker 2 taught us a lot right?

>>208096658
Kek. That guy was a retard. You have his mindset? Did you get your boosters yet?

>>208096500
>>208096518
Did you miss the part where Dafoe literally talks about the fact that she's a slut, or when she talks about whoring around in her past, or where it explicitly ties that to her being fit for Orlok?

Dracula was drawn to Mina, not Lucy you fucking moron, and he was drawn to her because she was innocent

I love how nobody take this movie seriously anymore.

>>208096768
>Dracula was drawn to Mina, not Lucy
thats why that one is faggot trash for low test tradfaggots

>>208096830
because you stupid retards are plebs, this movie is fantastic, suck my ass

>>208096768
The movie basically links her being mystical to her being a slut. It's like validation for every "witch" tiktok whore. It's cheap
It just doesn't feel cool at all to watch. It's Eggers' worst movie, though compared to the witch none are very good imo

>>208096844
incoherent brown retard

>>208096830
Nosferatu and Borat are basically the same characters.

>>208096478
How do you know about that

the only unrealistic bit about this movie was nosferatu a romanian man not pick pocketing some wallets

>>208096918
It’s basically a Sci-fi movie

>>208096622
How many more girls will he strangle before someone does something

>>208095379
Yes.

>>208096175
>Can someone explain the movie to an -actual- retard (me)?
Don't worry, fren I'll explain everything
>Is nosferatu a thing that happens frequently?
Yes. It's a demon that can be invoked.
>How did the book now how to kill it?
It was a book written by occultists.
>It is inherently self destructing?
You just need to kill that specific girl.
>Is it really 'voluntary' if the monster says he'll kill everyone if you don't do it?
That's part of this movie's retardation. There's absolutely no need for the monster to give that 3 day warning. All that contractual bullshit to dissolve their bond was incredibly retarded and unnecessary, since the count was leaving the castle behind with Thomas still alive, but anyway...
>What's his endgame other than dying I guess?
He's just a damned soul. He has no will.
>What's wrong with w*men?
They're retarded
>I was half drunk while watching it and didn't really get it, the constant hollering by the main girl also distracted me
Watching it drunk was a good call