>>21115537
do you go and sperg out on every board you don't like?

>>21115540
i'm here all the time, and none of you seem to cook except for ME. you IDIOTS. do you just like the THOUGHT of cooking? is that it? is your LARP so far-reaching that you PRETEND to cook stuff in your HEAD? i oughta fuckin kiss your dad on the LIPS. i made baked spaghetti today and NOBODY came and enjoyed it. WHY? you piece of SHIT. why didn't you come over for delicious baked spaghet and twice-baked potatoes? did YOU tell everyone not to come? HUH?

>>21115537
i think every board here has this sort of curse
>cooking board doesn’t have actual cooks, just likes the idea of it
>drawing board doesn’t actually have people drawing, just likes the idea of it
>politics board doesn’t actually discuss politics, just likes to shitpost
>business board doesn’t actually have financial experience, just likes to grift and scam
>advice board doesn’t have people who have their shit together giving advice, just the blind leading the blind

i went on /an/ for some mental bleaching/sanity washing and noticed it becoming a beastiality board so i don’t go there anymore.

>>21115597
you should see /mu/
>music board
>people will ATTACK you for posting music you made yourself (even if anonymously)
>they just want to TALK about music (mostly music critics, giving critiques to the music critics themselves)
>it's become some sort of out of body circle-jerk where music is just the backdrop for irreverent blogposting

>>21115602
yeah /mu/ has always been pretentious though, so i never bothered but it doesn’t surprise me they’re that retarded.

i generally try to avoid the infamously diseased boards like /mlp/, /fa/, /cgl/, /tv/, etc. i consider /mu/ to be a part of that group.

i think /po/ the origami board might be the only place that actually origami’s, but i have a feeling if i stick around long enough i’ll see the same old tired pattern again.

>>21115602
>>21115617
Every board still has its little benefits, its unique culture. For example, on /mu/, master is going to make you squirt. Can you say the same about any other board?

You will have to take my word for it, but I actually cooked boeuf bourguignon a couple times. It tasted great to me, but I'm sure you would turn your nose up at it.

Even if i didn't cook i still wouldn't post a useless thread with a picture for ants

>>21115638
massaposting has been dead on /mu/ for at least a year or more

tv has baneposting

>>21115537
does heating up chicken nuggets in an air fryer count?

>>21115537
Heat was involved thricely in the creation of these mathematical proofs of a sadistic god.

>>21115617
The amount of time you'd have to wait is insane, /po/ gets new posts like once every few months lol.

>>21115648
Be the change you want to see, anon.

>>21115662
oh is that why the images 404’s when i try to enlarge them on their threads? kek

>>21115537
All food connoisseurs are welcome. You are working for us, don't forget yourself.

>>21115736
i've got something you'll have to work for, but it's gonna come out the end of a long tube

>>21115597
I once had the audacity of telling /lit/ that I enjoyed a book

>>21115742
for the love of FUCK, why would you go to /lit/ and discuss a BOOK? you brought that upon yourself

French toes pour vous?

>>21115749
I'M SORRY OKAY

>>21115597
>noticed it becoming a beastiality board so i don’t go there anymore.
I'm honestly not that surprised. I haven't been there for over 10 years but that's still a very disturbing development

>>21115753
don't cook french toes, anon. i know we don't like the french, but they still need their toes.

>>21115754
you want guaranteed (you)s on /lit/?
>start a thread with OP pic being a huge book
>"please recommend some good books to slam shut on my dick"
>40 replies

>>21115739
>long
certainly

>>21115765
Mais ces sont déliceux!
Are toes male? This fucking language man... makes me want to sever and cook up some toes.

>>21115787
okay, it's not very long, but it's REALLY fat

>>21115662
They have achieved true mastery, they don't fold paper but neither do they post about it so the board is just cold and dead

>>21115883
true zen stoicism

>>21115900
A gentle breeze blows
Carrying along the sound
Of one hand clapping

>>21115901
i have folded it
my beautiful paper piece
now i will not post

>>21115910
Beauty so remains
In appreciative view.
That's all that matters

I made cocoa syrup and caramel syrup. I substituted about 1/4 of the cream for buttermilk and added some bourbon when I made the caramel. Turned out amazing.

>>21115920
buttermilk bourbon
he said it turned out greatly
we know it didn't

>>21115901
>>21115910
scent of my balls
my fingertips weep
itch left no alternative

>>21115931
5
7
5
you fucking retard. american schooling, ladies and gentlemen.

>>21115930
The tang and corn notes
Could find appropriate use
In a White Russian

>>21115934
yours was 1 1 1 8 so

>>21115934
He translated it

>>21115936
>>21115934
nope... you were right.

>>21115927
a big time disgrace
doesn't even look that good
what the hell is that

>>21115944
the name of the file
well indicates the contents
of the plated food

Perhaps French pancakes
Smothered in baby batter
Is more to your tastes?

none of you fags cook
the nuggies and taquitos
are your only meal

I made this bologna jubilee

food food food food food
food food food food food food food
food food food food food

>>21115982
what do you use that serrated knife for?

>>21115982
rich fuck makes meatballs
gonna honk your wife's titties
nice tongs, you asshole

>>21115987
stab cloves into meat
cover with peaches and shit
are those bananas

>>21115597
I mean it is Food & Cooking and not just Cooking. Even then I think /ck/ is as good as it gets - especially for something that (a) everyone doed/has an opinion on and (b) is also actually a hobby/career (unlike things that are only about consumption - anime, videogames, television, etc. People discuss food plenty here and sometimes the blogposts or general food eating preference polls can be interesting. The generals are helpful as shit and really helped me get into tea early on. As for actual cooking, I post food here a lot and do cookalongs like once a year. There's a couple, beit far and few inbetween, legitimate chefs/serious homecooks here too. I am convinced the "professional chef" threads are pure denny's and shitty hotel workers though.

4chan thrives because it doesn't have strict and serious boards anyways. The strictest board is /a/ and that place sucks.

Maken BUTTERBALL BUTTER BURGERS

will post when done =]

Worked a bit too much air in at the end but it came out pretty good

>>21116004
>I am convinced the "professional chef" threads are pure denny's and shitty hotel workers though
every chef at every shitty golf-resort kitchen and dive bar thinks he's fuckin marco pierre white. that's just cooking. they usually get so coked out that they can't taste anything and their cooking turns to shit after about a year

>>21115996
bananas, mandarin oranges, pineapple, cherries. with some brown sugar OJ to baste

>>21115992
what am I supposed to use?

>>21116007
nice. you made a fuckin bubble-sludge pie.

>>21115989
Bread

>>21116068
do NOT cook that oven mitt in the wok

>>21116006
my BBB

>>21116073
giant pile of slop
feta cheese piled too damn high
soggy vegies too

>>21116035
makes sense

you have nice knives. my knives aren't really that great but a couple of them are good. my breadknife is good and I've been know to use it on roasts occasionally

pic is my drawer of cutties

>>21116070
>doesn't know about seasoning his oven mitts
ngmi

>>21116084
nice SCISSORS, DORK. do you use them to SNIP your DICK off? HUH? nice THERMOMETER you DWEEB. do you check your ASS temperature with it? nice fuckin NUTMEG grater, poindexter. do you grate your NUTS across it to season all your gay little dishes? nice paring knife. i bet you wish you had a PAIR of nuts, but you snipped them off and grinded them with your stupid little grater thing.

>>21115547
>why didn't you come over for delicious baked spaghet and twice-baked potatoes?
I would have come over for that if you lived nearby

>>21115661
Ooo decadent

>>21115912
Nice, this is the first time greens have looked delicious to me

>>21115920
Fresh caramel is so good

>>21115927
This looks well put together

>>21116080
you can insult my BBB but don't you ever talk to my garden pickled mizuna like that

>>21116088
>mizuna
nice WEEB vegetable you fuckin dork. did it come with a marble soda and a copy of FFII (jp) on famicom?

>>21115617
I find /tv/ kinda unique in that they actively hate all movies and tv shows.

>>21116086
you need to find a hobby anon. we're all a little worried about you.

>>21116101
i love /tv/ they're such retards. but honestly 90% of the memes that go into the normiescape start on /tv/ or /pol/ their meme output is pretty fuckin unmatched.

>>21115652
More cooking then 90% of /ck/ could manage

>>21116112
literally us. i just finished FFII pixel remaster and started on 3

>>21116101
/tv/ is for off-topic shitposting, getting banned and doing it again

No I don't have proof I cooked dinner tonight because I cook all the time and I'm not some faggot who constantly needs validation from others for doing something that literally keeps me alive/I have to do daily.

But yeah I cook and it's comfy. And yeah I like to come on here and chat about food with these cunts because I enjoy it. Get over yourself.

>>21116119
FOOD WANKER!

>cook
>COOK

Bitch I have dozens of SKUs in national distribution in all major grocery retailers. Do I cook top kek fuck you

>>21116134
fuckin lol that’s good stuff

>>21115537
Just put my salmon for tomorrow into my marinade vac box. Not taking a photo of that shit because it doesn't look great, and two, you faggots suck and would try to dox or attack me. I don't want to have to scrub image data and fuck about with file sizes to post shit to 4chins - I can, but you fast food faggots are NOT worth it.

>OP posts zero food related images/text. Is pissy about the EXACT behavior OP is doing.

>>21115547
>baked spaghetti
The fuck? Sounds like shit with overcooked noods. I make my sauce in a pot and do the noodles in a pot of boiling water like a normal spaghetti maker, and combine in a pan.

>>21115537
>post proof you actually cook
I'm not an instagram faggot, so I don't take photos of my cooking.

>>21116086
A good pair of kitchen shears is worth its weight in gold. Some things are just easier with scissors than they would be with a knife. Cutting spring onions or chives is a good example.

>>21116080
That onion is completely raw. Are you from Eastern Europe?

>>21116159
rebuttal must be in the form of a haiku

>>21116091
fuck yeah it did, didn't drink the soda though because I always choke on the marble

>>21116159
no I'm american but I eat raw onion and garlic because the heat is nice
sorry don't speak japanese i only read subtitles

>>21115597
>/an/ bestiality board
it was a raid organized by one guy, just one guy. he was friends with some /v/ spammers for sharing spam tools and together they are why captcha sucks now. he is still there he just cant post as much so its a little better, although with lasting damage.

>>21116159
>>21116182
Raw garlic gives me a punch in the gut. But raw white onions on a burger are real nice. I didn't think I would like them until I tried them.

>>21116210
Yes, when I actually tryhard burgers I always do both onions - 60 minute caramelized and fresh raw. Totally different, but complementary

>>21115537
Another

>>21115537
Yet another

>>21116340
Wtf is that? A well seasoned platter of brains for a zombie?

>>21116365
Chinese fried rice with chicken and veggies.

>>21116087
I like this poster
They're not hiding up their ass
Can we keep this one?

>>21116365
pollo y arroz by any other name...
I'd eat it even if it were brains. It looks good.

>>21116004
Cookalongs are too much work for me, I cook, but I'm mostly here for cooking-related shitposting. If somebody seems like they have a genuine question and aren't a retard, especially in bread and baking threads I'll be actually helpful

>>21116744
Feel that, ill post making a dish when im in the spirit but it but can really mess up my flow when in trying to take pictures and cook at the same time. Also it can be like entertaining an old folks home of bad tempered geriatrics who only want oatmeal and fast food

>>21116763
fergot pic

>>21116764
mmm, zoup
I've started making and jarring dark caramel and dark roux for use in beef things (stocks, soups, stews, gravies) - they bump up the flavour, but more importantly, they bump up the brown.

>>21116776
Huh ive never tried the dark caramel, like browned sugar and butter?

My stock could use it, I did half broth and half bullion cuz I was short on liquid so its OK but kinda basic.

>>21116823
just browned sugar - taken to the point where it's just started to burn. Adds a bit of smokiness and richness to just about anything that can dissolve it, so long as you don't mind that thing being brown.

>>21116084
Dude you just let those edges bang into stuff and get all dull?

>>21115537
I do cook, I just can't cook well. All my meals are pretty simple, just throwing ingredients in a pot and over-boiling them to death. But at least I get a cheap hot meal in 30 minutes or less.

>>21115537
I have tons of cookbooks but don't use them.

>>21116825
Nyce I don’t ever mind my food being browner

>>21115537
>post proof you actually cook
I actually cook.

here you go you faggots. I 'mastered' the Pâte à Choux. Then I got bored and didnt do shit with it

>>21117272
What's to do at this point? something into a bag, slap a tip on it, and make that shit delicious.
Or dip it. Eat it as is. It's your alien-poo to do with as you wish.

I make a pretty mean Rib sandwich, I braise the fucker in kecap and pork broth

>>21117299
yeah, I wanna try to fill it with creme diplomate with real vanilla beans. i will get there one day

>>21117396
You already did the hard part... unless you plan on whipping the cream by hand - sucks to that assmar, get a cheap beater. Even years of playing drums for a technical death metal band have not adequately prepared me for whipping cream by hand. You might blow up one or two of your profiteroles the first time, but piping filling in is also pretty easy - no real finesse needed, just stop when things are full.

>>21117419
Freeze the whisk and the metal bowl, don't try to whip more than a cup at a time. It sets up in no time, and you can bang the bowl down and say "And that's how I got so good at masturbating!" while the ladies titter and blush.
Suck it, OP, I fuckin cook.

>>21117608
Sucks to that assmar! I'm doing 2 cups of cold cream in two room temp bowls with two room temp whisks at 240bpm until I can sculpt with it!

i work as a linecook at a pub and i go home to eat a can of pringles for dinner

>>21117644
……

>>21115602
I think about this image a lot these days

Copycat 5 cheese Ziti form olive garden. it was probably one of the better recipe's i tried and i would say better than what they have.

>>21117644
based if bbq or pizza

>>21117677
Liking pizza flavoured Pringles is a sign that you need to be put down imminently

>>21117696
Pringles taste like reconstituted potatoes......because they are. do it for survival but that shit is disgusting.

>>21117677
sour cream and onion flavour is my preferred choice but the service station (gas station) i buy them from sometimes only has the original flavour.

>>21115788
it should say "ils sont", so yes they're considered male

>>21117739
But I mean these toes specifically. I doubt all French toes are delicious.

>>21115537

Making my own bread. Isnt springing as much as id like, but the flavour and texture is pretty good.

>>21117654
i've shitposted shitposts you wouldn't believe. i came here during puddi. back in 2011 i meme'd /mu/ into thinking The Final Cut was pink floyd's best album. we shut down /mu/ for an entire day with beach boys shitposts. 99+ threads about the beach boys (mostly as a "fuck you" for allowing so many kpop threads at a time). i've voiced anime characters. i've collaborated with world-class musicans. i've had people send me synths and cash just because they liked a stupid shitpost song i made. i've been through like 4 elections on this hellscape. i've seen it all. alien disclosure. covid disclosure in 2019. sometimes i think we're here forever because there's a piece of the Faustian spirit to be found in the depths of the gutter of the internet.

one day they'll all be lost like tears in the rain...

Loaf I baked a couple years ago. Decent but not great crumb if I recall correctly

>>21118143
It took me five years, but I finally figured out just to leave it the fuck alone.

>>21118143
that doesn't count as cooking. i had sex a couple years ago. that hardly counts as having sex "recently"

>>21118153
Doesn't count as cooking recently. You had sex, so you're not a virgin. That bread was cooked. so he cooked something.

>>21118159
cooking top ramen one time when you were 10 years old doesn't make you a "cook" you piece of SHIT. i oughta kick your ass-FREAK

>>21118159
ESLtard, what you are missing is that the grammatical formulation of the topic of this thread indicates an ongoing, habitual kind of cooking - it's not "post proof you have ever cooked" it is "post proof you cook". You can think of it like this - if you drove a car one time several years ago, you have driven. But if you haven't since then, you can hardly say that you "drive" in the sense of someone who, say, drives their car into work and back 5 days a week. This is the meaning of "cook" at play here, and your one loaf of bread from a couple years ago does not qualify.

>>21118162
You sound mad. Rough day on the line champ? Need some more meth?

>>21118171
It's not my loaf of bread.
Are you currently cooking? Why did you quit cooking? Don't let your depression rule your life.

Made Manhattan Clam Chowder few times for the family which was a big hit.

Just made these eggs check the timestamp in the image name...?

>>21115537
I made a big pot of this last night. Hurst's HamPeas from the bag, I crushed up some saltines and threw them in the boil to incorporate their starch. stir in the vegetarian-ham-flavored-seasoning-packet when they're almost done. then after cutting the heat off and giving it a minute to cool, I added medium cheddar cheese slices and stirred them in.

I've never had cheese emulsify so smoothly into a sauce without breaking. I think it may have something to do with some ingredient in the "included seasoning packet".

Final product came out tasting like if a ham-and-cheese sandwich was served in pea soup form. Plus it's vegetarian which would matter to some of my friends.

Haven't tried it today yet, but I left them a little al-dente so I'm hoping they either soften up, or, next time I would maybe get out the immersion blender and blend up some fraction of the peas to leave the peas texture in but make it a bit more "mushy peas"y

>>21115537
I don't give a fuck of some unemployed fat virgin suspects that I might not cook. Fuck you.

>>21115597
Most posters on /o/ don't own a car.

>>21115540
>delicious baked spaghet and twice-baked potatoes
Carbs on carbs? Disgusting.

>>21115537
Cook? That's fucking stupid. Here's some dough I made.

>>21119694
I bet if you applied heat to that, it would be pretty gosh darned alright.

>>21115638
Lmao

>>21115537
>post proof you actually cook
i just found out that i gained about 18kg after about two months of only eating pizza i made to improve my technique.
well, its either that or liver failure, ill find out in march.

>>21115934
Haikus are stupid
Why would you even do this
Did you really think I was going to write one myself you goddamn dumb fucking cunt

>>21120436
I won't lie to you
I thought you were doing it
Get thee on the grill.

>>21116195
The unicode guy?

>>21117644
Why are you not eating your shift Neal over the sink like someone who actually works in a kitchen?

I eat two whole chickens every week then cook the bones to make broth, which I then use for rice.
It's pretty great.

sichuan red braised beef soup

>>21120748
Looks amazing. Recipe?

>>>21120748
https://youtu.be/AwEEoQzaIAg

>>21120765
Thank you anon.

>>21117654
that's a low tier rage post that isn't very funny or clever, and definitely not worth a screenshot compilation, but the insane amount of replies just goes to prove his point that the place is full of people who just follow suit now.

homebaked snag sizzle tonight fellas

I cook while surfing.

I made this fried rice for dinner last night. Now I have the worst fucking diarrhea of my life. Fiery brown water like 4 times in the past 2 hours.

>>21120648
needs more KPOP generals

>>21120989
From fly lice? Looks like whatever meat or beans or whatever is cooked well past the safety margin. Did you leave the rice out for hours?

>>21121037
>fly lice
What fucking place do you live where that's an issue? No, I think the problem is that I used way too much chili oil.

>>21115602
They dont even want to talk about music. They want to talk about slant eyed gooks in kpop general #38722

>>21115537
There isn't a cut of meat I don't know how to cook in the oven

I made this squid ink/cayenne striped ravioli with lobster when I was feeling creative one day

>>21115602
i like when discussion actually happens in the shill threads though

>>21121270
Earth... Bacillus Cereus exists, and - much like Clostridium bacteria - sometimes grows to harmful amounts in food that you've left out of the safety ranges ot temperature and acidity for too long. B. Cereus poisoning is literally called Fried Rice Syndrome.

Made KBBQ pork meatballs with sticky gochujang glaze, old pic but they turned out excellent with spring onions and cucumber slices

>>21123495
K

>>21121555
don't lump /metal/ general in with those bug lovers, please and thank you