>>21104337
>go to waffle house
>nobody at the front to seat me
>get nervous after standing there for a couple minutes since i think i look like a sexual harasser
>see some people glance at me while i stand there, some of them chicks
>leave after another min or two and sit in my car for half an hour contemplating how i probably made whatever women see me super uncomfortable

true story

>>21104345
>caring what women think
Pathetic.

Double scattered, smothered, chunked and peppered. Coffee. Pecan waffle

>>21104337
Howdy m'am, I'll have two eggs, some toast, and a cup of joe!

Pancakes, bacon, and eggs, ….. from the pancake house down the street please not your shitty Waffle House

2 eggs over easy with cheese, bacon and toast, hashbrowns scattered smothered and covered, grits, and coffee and a tall glass of milk with my meal.

>>21104345
Just be yourself anon

I'll have a milk

"A MALK DAT ALL U WANT IT A MALK!?!?! NO WONDER YOU SO SKINNY HUNNY"

and a toast I guess

"NO WONDER YOU LOOK SO HUNGRY SUGAR YA DONT EAT NUTHIN, SUGAR HONEY PIE BABYCAKES"

That's ok thank you

"OKAY SUGAR"

>>21104345
Waffle House is easy. Sit at the bar if alone. Find the old dude with a paper half way through his meal. You can get lucky and get a free newspaper while sipping coffee and shit.

>>21104415
just being myself got me kicked out of 109 resteraunts

> Live in fuck all North Carolina
> Local group plans to host a "New Years Rave"
> Oh cool, never been to a rave before, why not
> Find a ride with 4 other guys inside someone's shitty pickup, drive an hour out
> ThisIsABarn.mp3
> Turns out, Kegger at a barn first, beer pong with rednecks, they're chill
> Drive another 45 mins into another small town for "Rave"
> It's in a Moose Lodge/Rec Center
> There's no drugs or alcohol allowed, selling Monsters (Original Green) for $1/can, Drink 5 of them because they ran out of water
> Darude and Zombienation remixes, there's a few girls here with almost no clothes on
> Driver has disappeared, find him basically inside a ratty old couch making out with a chick
> Go cover a side room in glowstick juice
> 2 hours later, everyone is hungry, go to find driver
> Still getting his face eaten by an Oompa Loompa
> Wait another hour, finally go, pack everyone including Oompa Loompa into truck
> Start driving to nearest Waffle House because friend works there and we're all broke. Hope to get discounts.
> Arrive at Waffle House, go inside, it's fucking packed
> Realize it's all the rednecks from the barn party
> Friend is manager on shift because Store Manager is no where to be seen
> Start making ridiculous orders, drop the shades, people bring in booze from their trucks, making Gin and Juice
> Meth head linecook is in his Witness Me phase and just pumping shit out, straight up Hash Slinging Slasher
> People now smoking inside, people drinking, fights in the parking lot
> Leave before cops come, Driver realizes later that he left Oompa Loompa in a strange wafflehouse with a bunch of friendly rednecks, assume everything will be fine and go on with our day.

Hashbrowns Smothered, Covered, and Chunked, 2 orders of bacon, and a chocolate chip waffle on the side. Absolutely hit the spot.

>>21104422
What's a difficult one?

Veggie omelet with 'murican chz, hash browns in the ring, wheat toast. Coffee. OJ.

>>21104435
sounds like a night to remember, what year was this?

>>21104337
The cheesy eggs combo and a coffee, please.

>>21104596
2007, Pretty long past the era of decent raves, but the South never really had those besides on college campuses anyways.

bacon cheeseburger patty melt with hashbrowns smothered and covered. pecan waffle

>>21104337
Listen up straight, y'all biscuit-heads,
I'd like a piece a dry toast wit two scrambled eggs!
Order a hash browns, make em extra crips,
A glass a orange juice an a bowl a cheese grits!

>>21104432
those restaurants were the problem not you

>>21105359
Ain't the first time a basketball american has thrown a chair at her.

>>21104345
post proofs

>>21104345
>go to supermarket
>see young teenage girl stocking shelves
>can't help but stare because she looks uncannily like my wife, just 20 years younger
>she notices
>"I'm sorry for staring, but you look exactly like my wife."
>she's visibly creeped out
>noticably dodges me the rest of the time I'm in the store
Now I feel like I can never go back to that store unless I have the missus with me. Thing is, we usually only shop on weekends and I've never seen this girl before then, which was a weekday (had the day free because medical appointment). I suspect she only works weekdays and it will never happen that the two of us are both free on a weekday to prove that she really does look like my wife's spitting image and I wasn't trying to do some piss poor attempt at a pick up line. I was genuinely surprised at the extremely uncanny resemblance. : (

>>21104337
I wish there was fat friendly datable titmonster black waitress CK girls still bros

>>21105359
Wtf I love white women again
You can tell she's so sick of life and wish dei feminist shit never existed
Hot

>>21105359
mad respect for that arm block

>>21108724
X, LT, RB, Y, LEFT, X, LT, RIGHT, A

>>21107311
i can relate to this
>see a woman that looks just like a woman i knew years ago
>literally frozen for a few seconds, can't stop staring at her; starting to feel physically ill
>avoid her for the rest of the day
>the next day, see the woman again (we just so happen to be working in the same place)
>she sees me first and starts staring back
>this goes on for 5 months. Me avoiding this woman and every time we mistakenly cross paths, she looks at me. Sometimes she would mumble something acknowledging my existence. One time I was forced to ask her a question. Worst day of the 5 months. As I was having a panic attack in my car, it turns out this woman was parked in front of me, a few rows away, looking in my direction. I'm literally dodging this woman 5 days a week for 5 months. To this day, one of the worst year's of my life. Thankfully after the 5 months were over, I never saw this woman again and the nervous breakdown changed my perspective on my entire life. The next year ended up being one of the best year's of my entire life.

>>21108757
My man you were definitely in love, if my experience is correct

>>21104435
that sounds pretty fun actually.

>>21107311
and then Waffle House?

the last time i was in a waffle house i was driving from texas to maine without stopping with my car filled with stuff and stopped in at like 3 or 4 in the morning. the only person working that night was a young black man who i chatted with for a little while and i ended up getting the guy's life story including how he was molested as a kid by his uncle. it was actually a pretty sad and fucked up tale and i was impressed with how hard he had worked to turn his life around by that point.

>>21108854
gross; literally makes my skin crawl.

>>21108916
Did you leave a good tip?

CAN I GET UHHHHHHHH A WHITE WAITER PLEASE.

I still can't believe that they use that plate feng shui to keep track of orders instead of having a ticket system.

Not even worth making a green text but the only time I ever gave 0 dollar tips while dining in was when some old waitress at waffle house kept bugging me and my gf about making an order every 20 seconds when we were looking at the menu. Not in a nice way like asking if you're ready but more like "ok tell me what you're having right now" even though the place was basically empty. Rude ass bitch.

>>21104414
such a wonderful feeling though. i like even more the Chinese moms that give you the bigger than standard portion and lecture you in their broken English that you need to eat more.

I'll never forget after a Phish concert when we were all spun on L my buddy wanted to go to the Wafflehouse of the hotel we were staying in. 3/4 of us were like fuck no we are going back to the hotel to do drugs and drink and he said he ate like 3 Grand Slams

>>21104337
Ever noticed how cheery and docile they become once they actually get jobs?

>>21104337
all star breakfast; over easy eggs, chocolate pecan waffle, hash browns smothered covered and chunked, white toast. coffee with cream on side

>>21109142
Depends on the job. They can also turn into entitled cunts who refuses to do their job and act like you're a nuisance for asking them to do their jobs if they have too much job security. Ever been to a DMV or any other government agency in the south? It's 99% fat black women who go out of their way to not help you unless you're black.

>>21105359
Woo momma. Sick catch.

for me, its the secret menu

>>21109149
>Ever been to a DMV or any other government agency in the south?
No, only been to the DMV in NY, PA and DE and I still don't get the hate the DMV gets. I've never been in there more than a half hour except when I had to do the test. I go, do what I gotta do and GTFO, quick as a kitten queef. And they're mostly black up here, too. In fact, I was in our county municipal services complex the other day to renew my landlord's license (you need a license to rent out an apartment here) and even then, I was in and out in just a few minutes, not even a half hour.
Just show up first thing in the morning and make sure you've got everything you need before you go. That's it.

>>21109452
servers have to remember all that shit for $1.50 an hour plus tips. fuck me.

>>21108896
Closest one is across the border into Maryland, iinm. I've passed by it a few times but never been in.
I only mentioned my story because Anon worried about being thought of as a sex pest and it reminded me of the time that I worried about the same thing.

>>21109528
>>21108896
Well smack my tits! Looks like one opened up two towns over near my old job! I'm gonna give it a go at some point.

>>21104337
>waffle house in my area
>open 24/7
>get really drunk
>walk there at 3am
>eat a giant breakfast
>walk back home

This happened to me probably 50 times. True story

>>21109520
Mostly it's fine it's just the attitude of the sassy fat black women that wears you down. They can take like 10 minutes to scan your documents while it can be done in less than 1 minute.

>>21111341
>hasbrowns
Decent description of Waffle House.

>>21104337
Fried Eggs, over easy, chunked peppered hashbrowns, side of bacon, black coffee and orange juice, and do you guys still let people smoke in here?

>>21110755
>They can take like 10 minutes to scan your documents
Yeah, that actually did happen to me while I was at municipal services but it wasn't the fat black lady's fault. It's a small office and everything is within view so I could see that the scanner was being a prick. Still, I went in at 8, when doors open and out by 8.20. I wouldn't have gone at all but the website hasn't allowed me to renew online for a while so I had to.
I wonder if bringing the originals and your own scanned copies would make the process faster? This way, they can see that the copies are just that: copies.
I mean, when the website worked, I just scanned the documents in so it's not like they got to see the originals, anyway.

>Have an accident that splits open my face
>Ambulance to the ER
>Get face stitched back together
>Get a bunch of drugs for the pain
>Have to call a friend to pick me up since my car isn't there and I'm drugged up
>She wants to get something eat
>It's 3am, so Waffle House it is
>We walk in, my shirt is covered in blood, my face is bandaged up, I'm loopy on drugs
>No one shows the slightest sign of discomfort
>Realize they see this type of thing at 3am all the time
If they installed cameras in all their locations, they could have a show similar to 'Live PD'. With over 2000 restaurants, there's going to be shit going down somewhere all the time.

>>21107311
this has to be bait right? how can someone have a wife and be this autistic and socially blind about women?

be ready in second, babe!

>>21108916
Did you ask him for a turn? It’s pretty obvious that’s what he was wanting

>>21105359
>>21107367
Every straight man on the planet who saw that thought "that's hot"

>>21105359
nice parry

>>21112198
>socially blind
Bro, everyone is allowed a socially awkward episode or two every once and a while. It happens. That's literally the only one I can think of I've had in years, anyway.

>>21112210
I loved middle school pizza. I still have dreams about it. It is irreplicable.

>>21113099
middle school food was good. its only euroshits telling us that its bad. it was good.

>>21104337
>be me early last year
>just dropped my sister off at home late in adjacent city, like 2am
>decide to take the interstate and not the usual country road
>while merging a semi truck appears from nowhere
>have just enough time to say "ah shit"
>semi truck obliterates drivers side window and front of car
>door is completely unscathed
>more importantly I am unscathed
>stop on shoulder, exchange info with trucker, talk to cop, etc
>they leave
>debate calling tow truck
>decide to limp absolutely fucked up to the Waffle House just off the exit
>can barely get up to 15mph
>park right in front
>waitress asked what happened
>"just about died a few minutes ago so I'm living without regrets right now"
>order a grand slam and coffee, pay and leave
Getting home was another ordeal altogether

>>21104337
I always get triple hashbrowns smothered, covered, chunked and eight scrambled eggs
i would get this like two times a week for a spell and I didn't gain an ounce of weight, I think I have a tapeworm

>>21113756
how old are you?

>>21113769
I must've been 25 at the time

>>21113776
I had a metabolism that was ridiculous when I was younger. I could eat entire 16 inch pizzas, 2 triple whoppers, just ridiculous shit all of the time and still lanky as fuck. But yeah not at 25 maybe tapeworms I guess bro. I gained a lot of weight around 19-20 went from skinny as a rail to overweight and realized that I can't eat like that anymore

>>21112210
>>21113099
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40MvjFaTVzE

re-live the cafeteria pizza experience

>>21104337
>be me, north transplant
>driving a uhaul to FL need to piss and get some coffee
>first time ever at a waffle house
>3am some town in GA
>stretch the legs hear some gunshots tires screeching
>walk in order a coffee to go
>every patrol in the precinct flying down the road sirens blaring
>finish my piss, walk out and enter the van
>entrance ramp is blocked
>have to drive another few miles to get back on the 95
Love me some blueberry waffles from there.

>>21113806
pretty good history lesson, i actually enjoyed that

>>21104337
94 eggs, served one at a time

I have never been to a waffle house. Should I try it sometime?

>>21114665
It's just a diner

>>21105359
>>21105360
>>21107367
>>21108724
>>21109423
>>21113048
>>21113062
Those chairs weight like one pound

>>21114670
But it seems to have a sort of je ne sais quoi, no?

>>21108854
Shut the fuck up faggot

>>21113377
>grand slam
>waffle house
At least make your fiction believable anon

>>21114915
he probably got confused. There's a Waffle House equivalent. All-Star Breakfast, I think?

>>21107311
yeah zoomer girls are emotional basket cases, news at 11.

>>21114925
I did get confused, it's the all star

slice of chocolate pie, eat it while they cook the food
texas bacon chicken melt, with onions, no pickles
hashbrowns covered and chunked
2 eggs scrambled with cheese (will put it on the sandwich)
1 pack of waffle house sauce for the sandwich

perfection

>Be 2019
>Driving cross country for the first time, SoCal to DC
>Pull off the 8 in Tucson to figure out where to eat
>Sitting in a parking lot, first Waffle House I've ever seen is across the St
>St is a main drag. 6 lanes, 3 each way. It's rush-hour. Cars everywhere
>Fry cook exits the front door carrying 2 full bags of trash
>One has a hole and is spraying dark liquid. Noticeable stream. Walls, floor, door, and the cook all get painted
>No reaction from anyone
>Bags goes in dumpster next to the main window/door
>Cook leans on glass
>Breaktime.jpg
>Produces a burnt light bulb, a baggie, and a torch lighter from his aprin
>Starts smoking crack. RIght there. Full view of every customer and driver
>Watch all this in absolute Awe
Remember thinking "So this is Waffle House."

>Be 2019
>Same trip
>Stop in backwoods Tennessee for lunch
>Waffle House is right there
>Fuck it, we ball
>Park and walk in
>Place is empty sans me, the cook, and three waitresses. One is early 20's, one is about 40, one looks like a granny
>All are backwoods, meth-head haggard
>First thing I hear is Granny saying "And THAT was the LAST time I pissed in a street."
>Other girls nod. Youngster says "Fucking wild" while the other just laughs
>Chef mumbles "Fucking street pissing conversation. Again." and sighs audibly
>He has no shirt on and is smoking
>In there for 50 minutes. Chef is the only one who interacts with me.
>The rest keep telling piss stories. Only public pissing. There are several

Eat the most mid waffle of my life and roll on.

>>21114682
It's 2024 my dude. You need to grow up.

>>21105359
Valkyrie

>>21114673

1 Pound thrown with a lot of force still hurts like hell. The only thing more beautiful than her technique was her, herself.

>>21115938
That one didn't happen

>>21111341
>>wait a day before making fun of me for crying
that's friendship and camaraderie right there

>>21113377
>>"just about died a few minutes ago so I'm living without regrets right now"
And then everyone in the Waffle House stood up and clapped. And that waitress's name? Albert Einstein.

>>21113377
>appears from nowhere
No you just didn't look behind you like most retards. Probably just looked in your mirrors.

>>21112187
your friend fucking sucks holy shit

>>21104435
most redneck thing I've read in my entire life

>>21115445
Aight fair enough

>friends do a house show
>stay there and we all go to WH in the morning
>hungover
>all star, hash browns smothered and scattered, bacon, sunny side up, toast, regular waffle, coffee and OJ
>halfway through the meal, talking about the night before
>hey anon you have an ear booger
>feel my ear with my finger
>look at it
>big ball of wax
>everyone's unfazed and we go back to talking about the show and eating
Why do I have so much fucking ear wax?

>>21116967
Dogshit blog, turbo ghey.

>>21108916
dl brothers only drop that kind of lore when they believe they are in good company

>>21114676
it's open late and they tend be located in convenient to access areas

this is both a good and bad thing

>>21104337
>Be Europoor
>In America on business trip
>Ask American colleagues to take me to the most American places they can think of
>After taking me to the shooting range to fire their AR's, we go to the waffle house
>Area the restaurant is in seems pretty shady
>Food comes pretty quickly after ordering
>While eating, I notice that one of the sassy negress employees has her baby behind the counter
>At some point it starts crying and she changes its diaper right there in the kitchen
>Feel sick, this woman is casually cleaning her baby's ass right next to where the food is made
>Ask one of my colleagues if this is normal
>He says that this is nothing, the last time he was here that same employee was in a literal fistfight with her baby daddy.

That was my only waffle house experience. I ate at cracker barrel for the remaining days.

>>21113048
I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm not man enough to handle the kind of woman who'd been a cook at Waffle House

>>21113062
came here to post this

>>21119432
>I ate at cracker barrel for the remaining days.
Much better

last time I went to a waffle house the nice old lady working the register tried to set me up with her grand daughter.

>>21104414
Based negro women trying to fatten you up.

>>21105359
>Villian discovers hero has gone through trials and tribulations making them more powerful than they realized
I'm diamonds.

>>21108757
Imagine being such a faggot you have a life altering reaction to the presence of a normal woman.

>>21108757
Is this story embellished or are you you this far gone, anon?

>>21104599
Xanax makes neon lights look really good.

>>21104414
why are they all like this?

waffle house tastes better because some ineffable part of your soul knows you could die at any moment
in the same way that moment of intense stress can bring serene clarity to what one really wants out of life, waffle house pits the wager of turmoil against the need for hot, greasy food at 4am
if you're nonplussed about living, waffle house is like the covert colosseum of modernity, forced into the lobby of what's an undeniably pretty good diner brimming with the insistently fucked up underclass night life--strippers feuding with prostitutes for stepping on each other's toes, graveyard shift guards whose only culinary options are mcdonalds, waffle house, or a gas station, unassimilated immigrants and truckers who think 2am is a reasonable hour to be awake in the absence of any other particular upbringing to ground them in the reality of circadian rhythm
As all Muslims wear white in their pilgrimage to signal unity before god, so too are all waffle house patrons clad in the militaristic uniform of weariness, abnormality, and hunger both spiritual and physical

>>21119636
Questions, questions... Why are you a cuckold with a cockcage? Why do you have breasts even though you're male?

>>21119432
>Black single mother changing a diaper in the kitchen
Kek, now that's a real waffle house experience. Welcome to America son.

>>21119432
Your american buddies did you dirty. They could at least have taken you to a Denny's or IHOP if they wanted to show you generic breakfast diner chain food. Waffle house is fucking trash. When I had my yuro friend visiting we also went shooting some AR and pistols but we went to a local diner afterwards to avoid those people.

>be long time ago
>training at a military base
>consistently read waffle house threads on /ck/
>one night it's 3am and I'm hungry
>waffle house is a 1.5 hour walk away
>take a night walk all the way there excited for some WH shenanigans
>arrive and get seated instantly
>food comes out quick and is delicious
>after eating wait patiently for the waitress to let me pay so I can leave
>instead she's hanging with the staff bringing out a cake and singing happy birthday to another waiter
>inconvenienced and annoyed
>after about 30 minutes she comes by to let me pay
>leave no tip and walk 1.5 hours back with no funny story to post on ck

Never going back.

>>21104337
I’ve done a few Waffle House order4me’s. It was an enjoyable time.

Delicious

whatever is your fav, big momma

>>21120656
I don't understand how the meth-heads they hire can handle all this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jky5ZXI0axc

>>21120656
Remember when you pushed a waffle house meet up and didn't even turn up? That was hilarious. You're easily the funniest troll on here. You're like supertroll

>>21120656
what are OW eggs?
I looked it up but google just thinks im a retard that meant owl eggs

>>21120899
over well
like over easy, but fully cooked

>>21120910
>fully cooked egg
so a chicken?

stopped there a few times as a kid during a road trip. first time I saw a cockroach crawl on the table right in front of me

>>21120656
This makes no sense. What if the cook misinterprets the well done end of the platter for the rare end?
How do they know which quadrant of the plate is for ham, sausage, bacon or plain? I call shenanigans. fohwtbs

>>21120641
>They could at least have taken you to a Denny's or IHOP if they wanted to show you generic breakfast diner chain food.
I'm a yurpian living in the US. I had cousins visit some years ago and I took them to my local diner (which was killed by covid and has been demolished to make away for a 91 unit mini-high-rise). I tried to explain how diners are an integral part of americana and most are have remained unchanged since their inception but they didn't get it. They thought it was weird that anyone would pay a premium for food literally anyone could prepare themselves (you'd be hard pressed to find any place selling toast and fried eggs back home).
Still, I appreciate diners even if the yuro in me screams that their menus are mostly utterly fucking pointless. You get a real feel of regionality from what a diner offers. You're not typically going to find coffee milk outside of Rhode Island, scrapple or pork roll outside of the Delaware valley, chopped chicken liver with toast points outside of greater New York, hatch burger outside of New Mexico and so on. That's not even to mention all the regional pie variations.
As such, the first place you eat anytime you go anywhere new in the US should always always always be a diner.

>>21115786
did you go and say hi to your daddy
>>21115809
piss lmao
tell us all the piss stories
>>21115957
yes it did

>>21120899
They leave the sharp bits in them

>>21104337
I have never eaten at a Waffle House after 11am, is that why I’ve never had a strange experience with them?

It was Rams Horn for us back in the 1980s

> 2:30am
> sitting with a couple of buddies after closing the bar
> waiting for my biscuits & gravy
> two black chicks in the booth next to us
> two other black chicks march in
> walk up to our table
> grab the ketchup and mustard off our table
> blast the other two black chicks
> race out of the restaurant

The other chicks ran after them and they got into a hair-pulling-haymaker-throwing fight out in the parking lot, until the cops showed up and arrested them all.

>>21104345
I don't buy/order at any store that has greeters/hosts, part social anxiety part fuck you I seat where I seat you useless leech.

Coffee, keep it coming, thanks Toots.
*Lights a Marlboro Red 100 cigarette*

>>21120845
I cancelled in time. I got sick that day.

>>21123126
Epic trolling, honestly. I'd like to learn how you come up with it.

>>21123126
Smelly, dumb, tripfaggot scum

>>21104432
Subtle.

>>21122728
>order nothing
fag. They should have shot you instead for freeloading.

>>21104337
https://youtu.be/-4oSpciE5ow

>>21119432
>take yuro buddy to gun range for 1st time
>takes them to a live target range immediately after
They were trying to get you shot.

>>21119807
Here's another one: why are you a homofag?

>>21122587
Should have beat up the condiment blasters and fucked the girls sitting next to you.

>>21104337
Picrel reminds me of OP

Somebody fucking died from the roadsign collapsing on them at the waffle house (could’ve been the dennys idr) down the street.

>>21108916
>without stopping
>stopped in
So which one is it, asshole???